Alternative Paths

The End.

2009-08-02T13:09:00.003+08:00

If you've been following me for years, you would probably already be immune to my constant blog changes. Well, I'm leaving this site now. It's time to take off. This is the blog I've managed to maintain the longest but I guess it's time to retire. I think towards the end I was afraid to write what I wanted to say because there are quite a number of readers on this blog - many I don't know. It's

Update

2009-06-25T14:10:00.001+08:00

ON HIATUSUNTIL FURTHER NOTICEby then, something new.

Passing Statements

2009-06-21T18:18:00.003+08:00

It's funny how the grouchiest girls in school have the sweetest smiles and poutiest lips on Facebook.

/rantrant

2009-06-20T23:25:00.002+08:00

I feel like my blog has become full of nothing but rants.But here I am ranting again:I MISS PLAYING THE VIOLIN OKAY. DO YOU GET IT?I SWEAR. AFTER DEBATES IS OVER. AFTER COMMON TEST IS OVER. I AM GOING FOR LESSONS YOU HEAR ME.Laugh if you must. They always do.

All the framed, different poses of places I'll soon forget

2009-06-15T16:38:00.003+08:00

it's funny how last march i felt the kick of going back to singapore. i felt like there would be so many more things for me to do/see/experience. strangely, this time around i feel different. i feel more dread than anything going back there other than a constant flow of work, work and more work. not that work is bad. work is good and so is the new found discipline i'm learning to conform to.but

Anger Post

2009-06-14T14:11:00.002+08:00

I AM INSANELY JEALOUS, UPSET AND ANGRY.FUCK THE WORLD.

asdfghjkl

2009-06-11T18:16:00.004+08:00

Things that annoy me:1. Super cheena chi-eds. Totally unrefined way of speaking/thinking.2. Lalas. 'Nuff said.3. TNB - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS? CUT ELECTRICITY SUPPLY WHOLE DAY ONLY!!!4. My flabs - i swear i am going to lose this extra fat!!!5. People on Facebook who don't put their real pictures as their primary profile, add me and never bother replying when I ask "And you are...?"6.

Ridiculous

2009-06-09T22:44:00.004+08:00

THIS IS TOTALLY RIDICULOUS!!!!!!I find it totally preposterous that the ministers are actually oblivious about status quo. It's about time they actually did something. It's not that they don't teach grammar in school. Textbooks actually have some stuff about grammar but do teachers actually teach?HAH. Dumb dumb.

On The Wrong Train To The Other Side Of Town

2009-06-08T01:46:00.000+08:00

You have no idea how happy I felt when I saw them bursting out from the door. It's been more than a year since I met all of them. You have no idea how all these emotions seem to want to spill over, and how the smile on my face meant much less than what I actually felt! All those months of separation. Reunion is bliss. God knows, I've missed their company very much.Now within all that, so much has

I'm Talking

2009-06-05T12:20:00.000+08:00

So apparently I've been 'silent' for far too long. No proper post on my blog. Don't blame me, blame Singapore!That's not really true because ever since GP test ended I've been busying myself with activities. I should actually be catching up on much needed sleep but temptations of Singapore Great Sale, debate training and food hunting surround me. It's hard not to cave in! Happy things, y'know?

like a lost butterfly

2009-05-28T23:49:00.003+08:00

somebody hold me when i cry. love me. tell me that things are going to be alright.

Destined For Greatness

2009-05-27T21:00:00.003+08:00

Usually I give pep talks to my juniors or my teammates. But ever since coming here, my optimism feels drained. But today, our relief debate coach told us something that really hit home today. It was how it is the culture of the students in SA to have the tendency to think lowly of themselves when they are actually are capable of achieving so much more.It's the fault of the culture here: the

Unfair Impositions

2009-05-26T23:49:00.004+08:00

I ABOSUFUCKINGLUTELY HATE THE FACT THAT PEOPLE PUT SUCH HIGH REGARD TOWARDS JPA. HELLO SYSTEM FLAWED?Just so you know, nope. I didn't apply for it. Nope. I wouldn't even qualify for it even if I tried for it. Did I work towards it? Nope. Not at all.The basis of the whole scholarship is totally ridiculous.On a somewhat similar note: You have no idea how dumb some people really are. How ignorant

skookumchuck part one; fragmented thoughts on the end of the beginning

2009-05-26T00:04:00.004+08:00

Professor X thinks that higher education is not for everyone. Do you agree with the stand?my legs feel like logs today. i want minimal movement but that doesn't seem at all possible. not with the amount of things on my to-do list. not with the amount of commitments i'm bounded by.now the thing about this is that i'm not doing things i should be doing. i haven't called home in awhile. i haven't

On Slow Shutter Speeds

2009-05-21T19:48:00.006+08:00

Remember how we used to sit by the pool and have those late night bonding talks? How we had nothing better to do and had every waking hour at our dispense! Four months later and it's like we're in a very different era. Deadline after deadline. Commitment after commitment. We rarely do that now.But aren't you happy that we did that slow, languid evening?? I think the difference between then and

emo

2009-05-18T16:28:00.001+08:00

great i've been called fat four times in two days.

Dot

2009-05-17T15:47:00.001+08:00

so apparently i'm fat.

Twisted Truths

2009-05-13T20:09:00.005+08:00

As I sat there watching this man speak, I felt uneasiness arise. Tension made my muslces twitch and I was shaking not only because of the cold but I felt like I was going to burst out. I was on the brink of jumping out of my seat to tell the whole world how twisted he made us look. But alas! It took much energy to keep me settled down in my seat without breaking into fits of accusation.Because,

what do you have to say?

2009-05-10T20:07:00.004+08:00

i do not understand myself.so here's the thing.i am willing to pay around $60 for a top which i won't wear very often. but for a pair of shorts i must and diedie get the cheapest pair (two for $25 or some ridiculous price) which doesn't last very long, despite me knowing that i need shorts and wear shorts practically all the time. i refuse to pay $39/$49 for a pair of shorts and opt for some

Sitting On Greener Grass

2009-05-10T00:58:00.002+08:00

There's a certain comforting sense that I get lying on the lower bunk, listening carefully to the activities in the room: the low hum from the air-conditioning, the murmur from my Indonesian roommate's earphones, sporadic giggling from the Vietnamese girl, the creaks from the plastic sheet that covers the laundry I've received back but haven't had the time and energy to keep my laundry into it's

Pensive

2009-05-09T13:15:00.003+08:00

I think we’re all exhausted. Everyone here seems to want to snatch sleep. Heads are quite frequently on the table, mine included. We’re being drained, slowly, in agonizing toil. Some while approaching expectations, others while meeting expectations and the rest exceeding them… Today, I fell asleep while listening to news and managed to get at least thirty winks. But what I find queer is that my

FML

2009-05-06T20:49:00.003+08:00

I HATE SINGAPORE BECAUSE PEOPLE HERE ARE JUST SO BLOODY INCONSIDERATE.PULLING LAST MINUTE MEETINGS.WTF IS THIS?!?!?!NO RESPECT AT ALL!HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO PLAN MY DAY WITHOUT ANY INTERRUPTIONEVERYTHING IS A DAMN EMERGENCY.NO WAY. FUCK. THIS.FUCK SWINES. FUCK LAST MINUTE MEETINGS.FML.

Tell Me What You Know, Tell Me What You Gone And Done Now

2009-05-04T00:17:00.003+08:00

Some days I wake up uninspired. I wake up feeling forced into this shithole. Why am I so afraid to be the person I really am here? Why am I forcing myself to succumb and conform to stereotypes? I have never been typical.Inside something wants to break free.*I think I've found the answer.I am unmotivated to work.I feel tempted by the high life, by vices, by thrills, by splurging on materials, by

Pondering Points

2009-05-03T11:04:00.000+08:00

I keep thinking that I'll be able to come up with something fresh to write here. I don't know what else to say actually. So much has happened, all of which I think is good but I don't really know where to begin. I sit on my bed with my laptop open and I try to type something but there are so many events I want to talk about and my words become a disgruntled array of thoughts. I have not the time

Happy!

2009-04-26T23:51:00.005+08:00

HELLO EVERYONE.I'M SPAZZING LIKE SIAO RIGHT NOW.MY BEST FRIENDS ARE COMING OUT TO SINGAPORE. AND I'M DAMN EXCITED. (AND DAMN PISSED THEY DIDN'T TELL ME EARLIER BECAUSE I BOMBED A WHOLE LOT OF MONEY LAST WEEK ON SHOPPING)NOW WE CAN GO MAKAN.People. You have no idea what this means.Shopping and makan spree. Pigging out and hunting for food with my friends.We are going to bring textbooks to

it's one of those moments when everything is so clear, before the truth goes back into hidding

2009-04-25T23:33:00.004+08:00

in this world of six billion souls, you'd wonder whether your very presence actually meant anything to another person: a friend or a foe. ever wondered whether you matter? and why exactly you matter?i've been wondering aimlessly for the past few days; doddering and strolling about in a slow, languid manner. i've been thinking about a lot of things. my reasons for studying and my purpose for

Long Long Ranty Post

2009-04-22T00:42:00.003+08:00

As of now, I'm depriving myself of sleep to get this off my chest. It has become pretty obvious that my head needs clearing and my (personal) life needs a hell load of adjustments. A lot needs to be said but I'm not verbalizing it because I think it's better this way. Some of you way not understand why I'm taking reacting in this manner, but I guess the only way to see the big picture is to let

Peace

2009-04-19T00:57:00.003+08:00

With Nationals over and done with, I feel this surge of relief. Not that I'm entirely contented with just making it to Quarters, not that I'm entirely happy that we lost marginally to ACJC. What I can say is that right now I feel content. It's been insane; training. Spending hours on end at McD's, churning out and squeezing every bit of brain juice from your head - I won't miss that. Or will I?I

Menteri Is Minister In Malay

2009-04-17T20:41:00.004+08:00

So today, I kinda went up on stage and totally made a full out of myself when I went to represent my class for some International Youth Friendship Day.I said the Malaysian flag has five colors.My teammate said that the Petronas Twin Towers has one floor. (I was mouthing 88 FLOORS!!)And then they asked what the title that was given to a minister in the Parliament.I answered Dato' or Tun (the

sigh

2009-04-16T22:25:00.001+08:00

i need to lose weight.

Drafting

2009-04-12T09:44:00.002+08:00

I actually do have a lot to say and that can be seen from the number of posts I've drafted but never got round to hitting the 'publish' button. Work, school and CCA commitments are swamping me. Expected, yes, but sad, on my part.I've neither had much space to breathe nor the time to talk to people I want to. Plus I don't seem to find the patience or energy to be tolerant to people, not like I

vehemence

2009-04-07T23:36:00.001+08:00

i always seem to be blogging only when i'm unhappy or angry or anything mildly similar to either feelings. well. such is the situation now.i am angry.

untitled

2009-04-07T00:06:00.003+08:00

hellolet's go exploring today.and i'm posing this question for you to answer.love, adelyn.

untitled

2009-03-30T21:54:00.003+08:00

there are days where you find the need to summon all energy just to drag yourself out of bed. there are days where you need a reason to wake up and greet the morning rays. i've been having those kinds of days a lot lately. i keep searching for reasons to go to school and face whatever i need to face, do the activities i need to do. it's not even about the workload or the homework we get. it's not

raw

2009-03-27T00:45:00.001+08:00

today as we were listing down personal qualities of ourselves, something about the reflection struck a chord, at the right key, at the right pitch. my love for music has grown and my relationship with the violin has deepened in the past two years. but coming here, i've had to make a painful decision to put away this second voice and trade it in for a third. this new thing i've taken on, well, i'm

HELLO PEOPLE

2009-03-23T20:15:00.005+08:00

I TELL YOU I WANT TO KILL RIGHT NOW. T_TAND I WANT TO INVEST INSLEEPING PILLS - SO I CAN SLEEP MY EYES OUTEARPLUGS - THE SOUNDPROOF KINDEYETHINGIES - THE ONES THAT COVER YOUR EYES FROM LIGHT WHEN YOU SLEEPAND A LOT MORE BRAINS AND MORE MONEY!I WISH MONEY GREW ON TREES.AND THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY WERE A LOT MORE CONSIDERATE.OKAY BYE.

As A Result Of That...

2009-03-20T12:17:00.004+08:00

So I asked my mom if she was disappointed with my results and thought I underperformed, I was surprised when she told me that she was actually quite relieved with them. I for one was a bit unhappy to learn that I didn't get what I set out for. A little bit bummed but it's not like it really matters anyway. Thankfully.I wonder whether things would have been different if I hadn't spent the last few

And When I Stumble Upon This, How Warm This Makes Me Feel

2009-03-18T18:23:00.005+08:00

I find it so interesting how I am still able to maneuver myself around, blindfolded, walking backwards around this place; how my hand fits the knob of the doors here; how they know the magnitude of the degree to turn them, opening up familiar sights that send me warm and fuzzy feelings inside. It's almost as if this were the feeling of a post-camp nausea that I typically get after MPYO. Nothing

Little Miss MGS

2009-03-18T09:46:00.001+08:00

This is so true.MGS! =D

Two A.M.

2009-03-18T02:09:00.002+08:00

My heart goes out to you who make conversation with me with little to no success. The orange blinking of the MSN window that keeps flashing at me is wholly disregarded because I'm too busy looking something else. It feels strange to be in this position because I feel like ever since I've come here my heart and my mind are two separate entities, each aloof and detached from the other. I was never

Some Stuff Lah

2009-03-16T00:04:00.004+08:00

Things I need to do:1. Lose weight2. Eat healthier3. Stop snacking4. Exercise more (Planning to do rock-climbing! There is a rock wall opposite my hostel!)5. Read on world happenings more6. Study7. Improve vocabulary... somehowThings I want to do:1. Lose weight2. Eat healthier3. Stop snacking4. Read love novels (I have this sudden urge to read some Nicholas Sparks book)5. Write and blog more

Call Of Home

2009-03-13T16:45:00.003+08:00

The smell of home is only but a few days away and if only you knew how much I've been yearning for it. Yes, new surroundings here are become more and more familiar but nothing replaces the intimacy, space and warmth I've been missing out on. At times being here makes me feel lost and quite alone, despite being enveloped in this constant presence of people.I want so much to get back to blogging

Callings

2009-03-13T00:08:00.002+08:00

Do you believe in callings? I do. I believe that one has been whispered into my ear. Just a mere two minutes ago, while doing midnight ironing. I believe that before success, one must suffer. And like everything else, God has a plan. I've gone through one cycle of depression and numbness and finally the peak of happiness. A new cycle is taking place. No, actually it started without me realizing

When The Going Gets Tough

2009-03-12T16:42:00.002+08:00

I feel like I'm going through this major wake-up call and this self-reformation. Mostly it's because of the sudden heart-attacks I've been getting, most of which happened this week. I am going through this inner-awakening and this alarm clock is showing me a lot of things. It's zooming in on my short-comings and magnifying it by a billion times, making me feel depressed because I feel like a

You Know Me Best

2009-03-11T17:07:00.002+08:00

So as I was emo-ing I read this e-mail forwarded to me by one of my former schoolmates. God hits me at all the right times. Praise the Lord.One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.'God', I asked, 'Can you give me one good reason not to quit?'His answer surprised me...'Look around',

Who?

2009-03-10T19:08:00.002+08:00

When you look me in the eye now, do you see the picture of that same, scared little girl? Because when I look into the mirror and gaze into the pupils of the image that stares back I am perplexed at the person that is there. Who is she? So different. So unfamiliar.The person that looks back no longer stares at me with the familiar eyes of hope and warmth. When I look at that person I see a

Update 14

2009-03-05T20:11:00.002+08:00

I believe that I am now a nerd. In the last few weeks I feel like I have studied for more (effective) hours than I have for the past few years, combined. So this is what being all 'disciplined' really is.Some of the people here really scare me. The way they study and the amount of work they do scares me. I am not used to such pressure. This really makes me miss the good old days back in MGS where

Eating Habits

2009-03-02T18:02:00.002+08:00

There's something wrong with my eating habits. There are days where I feel like stuffing myself with food. And usually this happens during days leading up to my period.And when it comes, I feel like starving myself silly.And honestly, I feel like starving myself silly now.

Craving For Something

2009-02-28T09:47:00.003+08:00

I'll tell you what I really miss.Food.

Weight Issues

2009-02-24T19:12:00.003+08:00

I need to go on a healthier diet. Ever since I got here I've been snacking on the unhealthiest foods ever. And most days in college I have at least two lunches. And a snack when I get home and dinner. Oh and did I mention I eat supper too? And all those sweets and I consume during classes just to keep me awake?Great. And I've officially put on 1.5kg, no thanks to all that eating. Sigh. If I don't

haiyo

2009-02-23T20:39:00.002+08:00

i have no idea what the fuck people are talking about. 0_Oi am so screwed.omg. i feel so stupid. so so so so so stupid. i have never felt more stupid in my entire life. what the fuck is going on?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!T_________________________________T

Here In My Hostel

2009-02-23T18:43:00.006+08:00

It's nice to know that majority of my readers are from Malaysia. From this I can probably infer that you people back at home are bothered about what's going on here in Singapore.Nothing really significant is going on at present except that we've already started our full timetables, inclusive of lectures and tutorials. I'm taking 4H2 subjects (which is equivalent to 4 A papers) and they are

Welcome!

2009-02-19T15:12:00.003+08:00

Today as I walked out of my room to get my laundry done, I was greeted by a particular guest...I nearly screamed when I saw it outside my room and then ran back into my room. Although I had been warned about this 'permanent resident' of ours, I took it lightly because I never expected to run into it.Now if you take a good look at this picture, you'll see that this PR of ours caught a frog.Ladies

I

2009-02-16T00:07:00.004+08:00

Is it weird that I feel this sudden surge of emptiness where when I look all around me there is not a hand I want to reach out to hold, not eyes I want to look into and gaze into them forever?Is it weird that I feel like I still want to give a part of myself to another but at this point of time I keep looking with hesitant and apprehensive eyes?I don't just want anyone to hold me and make me feel

Comparisons

2009-02-15T19:49:00.004+08:00

So I just found out that Nian Ning was also from St Andrew's Junior College(SAJC). I'm currently studying there.Proof is in the uniform she's wearing in the picture here.And to think that she, too, did debating there, is kind of creepy.

14th February

2009-02-14T01:26:00.003+08:00

I am actually stretching myself thin by staying up this late to blog. Presently I have a set of Econs tutorials I have yet to have a look at, and not to mention decipher the stack of notes, left to do.But as I pause to think about the recent happenings, particularly about being here, I often find myself reflecting on the vast difference of 2008 and 2009. And I can't believe it's only been a year

Passing Emotion

2009-02-08T17:56:00.004+08:00

What is it really like being here? It's nice actually. But when we talk about the more emotional side, there's a part of me that's missing. I'm surrounded by so many people lately. And all this constant swarm of people around me makes me feel a little bit suffocated. Sometimes I feel like I have no place to breathe.Next week I plan to take a 'road trip' on my own and explore Singapore. And

Another Bit On Singapore

2009-02-04T22:09:00.002+08:00

Reconsider 5-day week?MORE free time did not result in more babies, so people should go back to work on Saturdays.Nominated MP Loo Choon Yong on Tuesday threw up the most provocative suggestion during the Budget debate when he questioned the benefits of the five-day work week.Speaking on the second day of the debate on the Budget Statement, he said the move to a shorter work week by the public

Brief Updates

2009-01-30T18:02:00.003+08:00

It's been a few days since touch down in Singapore. For those of you who don't know I am currently residing in McNair Lodge, a small quaint hostel. (Will post photos soon!) I've spent a total of two nights here alone in my hostel room and I now finally have roommates - four others. Three Indonesian Chinese and one other Malaysian staying with me.So far things are looking quite well. Singapore

Why?

2009-01-28T23:51:00.000+08:00

If everyone else can do it, why can’t you?That is a question I ask people I’ve worked with. Am I demanding too much? Because that principle I apply to myself as well.But in this case, I feel like I’ve begun this on a wrong foot. So many things, at present, are turning out to be very wrong. It’s like walking blindfolded on uneven ground where you aren’t sure of your next few steps.To put things

Musing

2009-01-25T00:50:00.002+08:00

I feel like God is teaching me about dependence. I feel like a lot of things in my life are turning quite out of control. Close friends would know about this, the way I feel about my situation right now. Thank you for listening to me and showing me ways to untie these knots. Although I have yet to carry them out but I believe that there is something about these mishaps that is set to teach me

Jubilant

2009-01-19T21:25:00.005+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHARD WORK ALWAYS PAYS OFF! FUCK YOU WHOEVER SAID WE COULDN'T DO IT! WE FUCKING DID IT ONLY THOSE BLIND MORONS COULDN'T SEE OUR BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS (literally, mind you!!!). AND IN THE END WE PWNED YOUR ASSES ONE BY ONE. DON'T FORGET THAT I REMEMBER ALL YOUR STUPID BACKHANDED BITCHASSED COMMENTS THAT YOU SAID BEHIND MY FREAKING BACK. NO GUTS TO SAY IT UP TO MY FACE. AND

Something To Remember

2009-01-18T17:25:00.005+08:00

The party was probably one of the most fun ones we've had in a really long time. The best compared to the other parties held in previous years. It might have been the distance that had caused such energy in conversations engaged but all in all it was a good one, reminding us of how much we really missed each others company.So then there were just a few of us left, approximately ten of us left, a

Nine Days

2009-01-17T11:58:00.004+08:00

i can't feel anything. i've been sitting here all morning, not knowing what to do, or what to say, or what to expect. i don't really want to plan for later, i just want to live it and feel it. i haven't been feeling anything lately. all there is is this blank space of nothingness. i feel stuck in the same page. this transition phase is doing nonsense to my head. i can't tell if i want time to be

Tagged!

2009-01-14T21:00:00.005+08:00

1. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smoke?Yes, very much. I can't stand the smell from cigarettes.2. How about drinking?If it's controlled drinking, I'm alright with that. If he drinks excessively to the point he constantly gets drunk from drinking then I'll be quite against that.3. Do you like someone you can't have?Nope.4. If someone liked you right now, would you want them

Why Plan?

2009-01-12T10:15:00.003+08:00

This may sound like a rhetoric to some but it always helps when some facts are verbalized (or in this case, written) to further punctuate its meaning.So it's like this. As far as I can remember, I have been a planner. I make plans. I make lists. But I don't necessarily follow through with all my plans. Friends have asked me why I make plans the way I do and why I bother even making them.The point

More Thoughts

2009-01-07T14:36:00.002+08:00

My left hand is placed on the cool, marble table as my fingers tap a rhythm unconscious to my brain. I am thinking of good many things while eating. As I dish and then bring it, the spoon, to the edge of my lips, I stop and add another point to my growing list. And then with a sigh, I bring the spoon a little higher where it reaches the openings of my oral cavity. Bland, the taste. We would have

Observations

2009-01-05T21:15:00.002+08:00

- Malaysians seem to just stare blankly while waiting. No iPods. No books. No magazines. Or even newspapers to occupy themselves, especially people who are alone.- Pendidikan Moral teaches us to love the environment, to look out for Global Warming. So tell me why are the cars that we use for our driving test are running on leaded fuel? Leadership by example I would say.- I am thinking of throwing

Thinking

2009-01-03T02:54:00.000+08:00

In a perfect world, you would have spent the summer between your junior and senior years reading personal essays by famous authors, reflecting on the meaning of life, checking out essay questions on college Web sites, and maybe even working on a rough draft.but i do this quite often. if you count memoirs. and several essays in books. or famous blogs.i think i do reflect the meaning of life. i

The Last of 2008

2008-12-31T19:31:00.001+08:00

So when I ushered 2008 in, I did it recklessly at a beach with a couple of friends. I have no idea what I was high on because it has become pretty apparent that that night turned out slightly wild. Now, I've always had this thing about how you start your year off and it relating to how the rest of the year will turn out. Well, to be really honest, that's what the whole year felt like. A wild

To Hatyai!

2008-12-28T01:29:00.003+08:00

Hello everyone! I'm back from Hatyai! And for the first time (HAHA) I have pictures, not a heap load of pictures but enough to talk about I think.This is actually my first trip/holiday with my family in three years, excluding all our trips to KL, as well as my first time going to Hatyai. To be really honest, this Hatyai holiday happened to be a spontaneous, unplanned trip. It happened in the

Pondering

2008-12-25T23:45:00.003+08:00

I feel awfully awkward. And awfully restless.Christmas is supposed to be a time of giving and forgiveness.And I want to forgive.Without losing my pride.Just how?

Season's Greetings!

2008-12-25T11:17:00.003+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! Real sorry for the lack of updates. Been really busy with music camp and family stuff. Haha.Things have slowed down only but slightly in the last two days with PESSOC music camp over and everything. Camp this round was a lot more fun than I expected it to be. With seniors returning from various places all over the world, I'd say it was quite a pleasant surprise to see

Well...

2008-12-16T17:30:00.002+08:00

I have so many things to talk about, honestly. But when I have time, I don't have anything good to say. And when I do have something good, time is against me.Anyway, Pessoc camp started yesterday and it feels a lot different than it used to. I feel old. And a little passive. Half the orchestra consists of faces I am unfamiliar with. It's so funny because I feel a little older and more experienced

A Sense Of Regret

2008-12-11T01:09:00.005+08:00

I don't exactly like what I'm feeling right now. In fact, I never thought this feeling would ever surface. Honestly, this feeling should not be present in emotions. I hated school. I hated practically hated more than half the staff room because of what they represented and what they thought of me and what they wanted me to be.But yet, in this moment of reflection I am overcome with this sense of

Fleeting By, These Scenes,

2008-12-09T14:29:00.000+08:00

Fictitious scenes keep fleeting across my head like dreams but yet I can never seem to capture them. They are mine but yet I don't know them. I can't capture them and phrase stories in the way I want it to sound. Not the way BFG (Roald Dahl, ahem) catches dreams. If stories are found in dreams then I should continue sleeping. And I've been getting about ten hours of sleep per day and I still feel

Oh LOOK! A Post!

2008-12-06T00:24:00.000+08:00

Um. LOL?And this is crazy."It is not a question of majority or minority. It's a question of disparity between the races," he said responding to a question comparing Malaysia's policy of helping the majority (Malays) and similar policies helping minorities in other countries. "Everyone admits that in this country, the Chinese dominate the economy. They are

Stained Pages

2008-12-04T17:35:00.001+08:00

I've been clearing stuff from various cupboards in my house and I stumbled onto old stains of my emotions poured onto the pages of diaries and pieces of paper. So much angst! So much anger! And to think it was written by my fourteen year old self!Let me show you a little bit of my old self:28/5/05Do you know what it's like, this hurt on my chest? It's like there's this incurable pain. Nothing I

Meet Chan Kit Leong

2008-12-01T18:40:00.000+08:00

So yesterday I spent some quality time with one of my best friends in the entire universe. His name is Chan Kit Leong. I doubt that I've blogged about him explicitly before but here is a recap about how we became friends.Kit Leong at the condom dispenser. Funny story this one.Being crazy.Posaahhhh!!!We were both members of Penang State Symphony Orchestra and Chorus (PESSOC). And it began back in

This Is Coming A Little Late

2008-11-28T20:00:00.000+08:00

A huge weight lifted off my shoulders - That's what it feels like. The grueling weeks of studying, pouring endlessly over books, trying to make sense out of senseless bits of information are now over. I find it hard to comprehend the reality of it because the thought of finally being out of school has yet to sink in.But the odd thing is this: I find myself restless. I am itching for intellectual

Physics Question?

2008-11-24T18:33:00.004+08:00

If this question comes out for Physics tomorrow. I will burst out into laughter:1. Why are birds able to stand on electrical lines along the streets without suffering any harm?A. Their bodies have very high resistance.B. They know the exact spotsC. There is low potential difference between their feet.D. They are born lucky.HAHAHAHA.

Hello Everyone, Guess Who's A Year Older Now?

2008-11-22T17:47:00.002+08:00

So today I am finally 17. Thank you everyone for the text messages, random calls, Plurk messages, Facebook Wall posts.On a side note things that happened recently that make me feel even more 'blonde' than ever:- I misread Nano as Nandos.- At KOMTAR last night my sister (Amelia) and I were had a good time staring at the clock behind the room. It read 20:45 21/11 20 08. We were wondering what 20 08

Today

2008-11-18T21:09:00.003+08:00

Today I drafted, redrafted and drafted yet again a couple of posts. To date I have approximately 20 drafts which never really made its way onto being published on my blog. A little like this e-mail that I've been drafting and redrafting.Today I want to talk about so many things. But there is something awkward about today and I can't seem to shove it away.Today I feel strange. It feels strange

I Have No Idea What To Put Here

2008-11-18T20:15:00.002+08:00

I think when the results come out they will be okay. Not great; just okay. Which will be a huge disappointment to some people I guess.Because......die die die! I forgot a whole chunk of organic chemistry. Wtf. I don't seem to remember anything about Haber and/or Contact process. Supposed to be damn important for this year! WTF!

Breaking Up Is The Hardest Thing To Do

2008-11-15T22:31:00.003+08:00

So I just got the news. And again, I am thoroughly disappointed at the way things have turned out. It looks like once again this thing of what we perceive as love fails me, yet again. It's not my heart that is broken. It is the heart of a friend of mine.Sometimes when I look at broken pieces of other relationships, I feel the same pain they do. The person who dumps always says the same things.

On My Desktop

2008-11-13T15:51:00.002+08:00

I know this isn't really original or anything, in fact I found this picture while reading Malaysia Today. If you've not seen this picture here's what my desktop looks like now. :D

Rantings

2008-11-12T19:55:00.003+08:00

On what to do when I grow upAmanda: You should be a hobo one day. They're happy.On SPMUncle Jin Soo: I'm sure u'll do well - w/ or w/out effort. S'pore, tho, won't b a cakewalk; EVERYBODY puts in 110% effort.On Mom using different proportions of ingredients for a particular dishAmelia: I think mum is playing with my taste buds.*I think that SPM is playing with my head. I've been constantly

The End?

2008-11-10T12:27:00.003+08:00

So tomorrow is D-Day. The end of the end. Finally?I don't know. I was expecting myself to feel really thrilled about so many things, I still am but not in the propensity that I'd like it to be, or rather, expected it to be.My thoughts are like unfitting pieces of a jig-saw puzzle. There is little coherency between the first thought and the next. And I seem to be idling my time away not by

So What Now?

2008-11-08T14:35:00.002+08:00

And suddenly I feel the life being drained from my body, my face turn hot to cold, my blood pressure drop drastically. Odd. Why do I feel so shocked? Could it be that I secretly want to not be found? Because here I am trying to search and trace myself.So simple yet so tough.Why do I feel like I have been exposed? I left trails all over secretly hoping that someone would find me. And now, someone

Meet 5 Science 1

2008-11-08T08:47:00.001+08:00

And the video is up! :D

Don't Get Me Wrong. This Isn't What You Think It Is.

2008-11-06T20:54:00.000+08:00

This might sound totally unrelated to anything but in line with "sex-ed" classes we've been getting in school in place of lessons (wtf I know!). Like, when my classmate asked this particular teacher about this "mark" on her neck, my teacher replied saying "Oh it's an insect bite. A two-legged insect." Uh. Yeah.Anyway so I was thinking why the phrase deflower a virgin?Google and Wikipedia isn't

Change

2008-11-05T19:56:00.003+08:00

Today is significant.Today is freedom.Today is a day of change, in more ways than one.What is to become of us? What is to become of the world?What will change bring about?

The Question of Faith

2008-11-02T15:08:00.004+08:00

On an entirely different note, some of you might be happy to know that I finally came clean to my parents and my grandmother. I finally told them quite blandly about my faith, although I'm sure all of them must have suspected it for a long while and I am quite certain that they were all in denial of it. This happened about two to three weeks ago. And I feel very relieved about doing it.When it

Of Urges And Being Random

2008-11-02T11:45:00.003+08:00

I have this sudden urge to eat pizza. Domino's, to be exact. The last time I had Domino's was last week when my class decided to buy pizza for lunch so everyone stayed back and just ate pizza. Random but I actually like this mushroom and mayonnaise pizza.And I'm in the midst of pouring over Sejarah. Sigh. I think I should go on a hiatus from blogging for the time being. Lately my brain thinking

Fragmented

2008-10-29T16:29:00.007+08:00

today my mind is in fragments. it seems to be fleeting from one idea to the next.- life goals amy and i came up with today:1. read the Koran2. read the Tanakh3. learn Hebrew4. finish reading the Old Testament (my goal this one)5. visit Israel- i am beginning to hate the word 'amazing'. it feels so fake, so overused and so overrated. sometimes it makes my hairs stand whenever i hear people use it

Hi Everyone

2008-10-28T15:38:00.000+08:00

Poke me.I'll squeal.Joy joy.Happy happy.:D

Quickie

2008-10-26T19:21:00.004+08:00

Listening to - Give Us Clean Hands by Chris TomlinTo put it simply: He never stops amazing me.Edit: I just decided to Google Nando's and guess what everyone! THERE ARE NO NANDO'S OUTLETS IN SINGAPORE! NOOO! HOW CAN LA! Ai neeeeed ma cheeekennnn!!!

To Follow

2008-10-25T16:28:00.004+08:00

"You have the opportunity to use every bit of strength and skill you possess - not to dominate her, but to take her on a journey. It is a lot to ask. If and how you take the journey is up to you."So there's this thing about men wanting women to be "submissive" in a relationship. Being a typical feminist I immediately pounce on boys who hint alpha-male characteristics. Then someone recently told

Still Unchanged

2008-10-22T12:49:00.006+08:00

TX recently said "What happened to you? I thought you would be one of those people that would still retain her youth?" or something to that effect (paraphrasing here). Well, life happened. Realizations of what really is, happened.It's been an excruciatingly long and painful time since he took off. The dust from the trail he left behind has settled and he is no where in sight. Since his departure

Men I Like

2008-10-19T15:20:00.001+08:00

Decided to compile a list after reading Lara's post. Lara got it from Myra one of my childhood friends from SCS days. Gosh. Kindy friends seem to be sprouting out like mushrooms these days.Personality1. MatureI think this is one aspect that most girls look for: maturity. It's quite hard to find a mature guy because the ones who are supposedly "grown up" still act like two-year olds. *hint hint*