Honesty In Relationships

I found this while reading some of my old entries in my old blogs. And I came across this very interesting piece which I posted three years ago. But yet, up to today, it's such a good read!

This is What Oprah Winfrey Has to Say About Men

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behaviour. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complementary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other women and men

You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

Reading that article reminded me of this conversation I had with Chiew Tsing last night. We were (mildly) debating on the degree of honesty couples should have in a relationship. There's this old adage that related to the article and our conversation which goes like 'Sometimes it's better off not knowing'. Like mentioned above, never let a man know everything. Chiew Tsing thinks that I need to learn to tell truths from different perspectives, in other words, white lies.

But I'm just not that kind of person. White lie or not, a lie is still a lie. To be really honest, I cannot go around lying or twisting truths to people I hold dearly to in order to hide my dirty secrets. I do not pretend. I am who I am - do not question further. Simply because how long can you hide? Just how long can you shy away before you crack from guilt? Maybe some of you might be able to cope under guilt but not I. Guilt consumes me. Honest.

In many ways, I also do not want to compromise. I do not want to paint a new layer to my relatively-sordid history because like it or not, sometimes the past does come back to haunt you. Many times I have tried to shun them down but I fail. For I often find myself slipping back into my old ways. So I do my best to live with things: try to fix what I messed up and become a better person from those mistakes.

And because of that, honesty is one of the things I my family, friends and boyfriend(s). I will be direct and blunt about things but you can be assured of my honesty. And that's the second thing I look for in relationships - the first being able to converse about anything with another person.

If no one can stand that. I guess sucks to me. Because I cannot lie. I don't want to lie. I just... can't.